Graduate conference begins

A graduate conference in philosophy is taking place at this university over this weekend. I figure a lot of drinking, lots of abuse of bad papers, more drinking, etc. Apparently hosting grads from other programs is an excuse for unparallelled debauchery. We shall see how many licks it takes to get to the center of a 1.5 of Jack. But they didn't invite any women (tho' given the field not surprising) so I'll just have to say ":)". I hear stories of the storied past of graduate conferences and parties and debauchery, but I bet it's a hell of a letdown. These people are just not the Mack. So we have to create our own entertainment, and that means: my monkey ass right in their face.