Where do I live?

Some things observed in neighborhoods and homes today:
-An apartment with the kitchen in the living space, and three useless alcoves too small for general use.
-A carpeted bathroom (ocean blue, extra-long pile)
-An abandoned garage not quite on anyone's property, paint fading but with fresh anti-semitic graffiti
-A bird loose in a house, which has not pooped on anything except in the cage
-A small girl with skinned knees wearing a scuffed navy jumper and carrying her own weight in books
-Bamboo
-Door locks that only open for one person but not another, no matter how many times it's attempted
-A tiny cloud in the shape of a toy sailboat
-For Rent signs
-"Sold" signs
-A pickup truck made entirely of rust
-A woman dressed like a car moll from "Grease" getting into a red sportscar with a racing stripe
-A gingerbread house made of wood
-Many good reasons to be annoyed at people inspired by but with less talent than Frank Lloyd Wright
-Two dozen bystanders at a wrecked car leaking gasoline
-A mother and daughter not arguing
-A mother and daughter arguing
-Four ruined television sets, all in the same dumpster, all manufactured prior to "Law and Order"
-Screen porches well-worn and cluttered
-A drainpipe made of copper and greening about the joints
-Two kitchens with a stove and no counters to speak of
-A living room that smelled of sweat, and a bedroom that smelled of cheap perfume (not same apartment)
-A ten-foot walk-in closet entirely filled with cheap suits from the early 1960's
-A 400-square-foot apartment with 3 entrances.
-What happens when Mullet meets J. Lo
-Asphalt ghosts (second confirmed sighting)
-Flies
-Pink sneakers