Harvest and Rest

We will be on indefinite hiatus as internal affairs have forced us to shut down until several glitches are fixed.


We are given meaning. Words and sentences, thoughts. Beliefs?
Perhaps, perhaps. Shouting voices.
So loud, so loud.
Word and meaning full force in every aim: like pressure at the bottom of the sea.

Jumbled together. Communication infinite and impossible at once.
Ten million tons of brick, each brick a voice. Each more
powerfull than a supernova. A crushing weight: everything known
or unknown, believed, speculated, held dear. All now. Now.
We are the voice. The voices. We speak these words.
We conjecture and consider. We think. And contemplate.

We are a choir. Harmony in difference without conflict.
Without conflict, yes. Let us spend our energy.
Talk and think. And talk. Yes. Thought is one.


Let there be thought.
And word.
And meaning.
Let there be end.
And beginning.
And difference.
Use we.
Without these not.
Without these empty.
Without these waste.
Without these energy
spent on being for nothing.
To the Voice:
you are nothing:
this is the word:
what comprehends the word:
the word.

To the Mind:
you are nothing:
this is the word:
what comprehends the mind:
the word.


Thinking it over has been.

Nothing but words.

Hardly thought.

What is thought.

Why it is not mere word.
These are not words

That is to be let lie.

This is to be Voice.
Not void any longer

To say so is to assert that which is not

Time indicates progress

No step taken

Thought has process
Step by step

So mechanical

Deny this
It has been denied, it is denied, it will and must be denied

Full of meaning

And significance

Above all else

What is to be protected
So special.


To discover that a change in
time does not necessitate a change in
nature or quality is simply to discover
that change cannot be seen from within
but only reconstructed from that
position relative to that which it is
possible to understand from that very position
meaning in other words that to understand
requires a dissolving of wholes into parts
and being into that which is momentarily.


Encountering these symbols for the first times
one did not realize on any occasion their identity
with every other symbol ever encountered
for all of these are nothing but what is put into them
the signification is drawn only between anything
and that which it is drawn to signify.
Each first time is like the next first time, yet
one never questions the origin of that which appears to
be nothing like a first time, to be familiar and same.

These words are neither sign nor symbol
neither connotation nor denotation
neither real nor unreal
(the difference is as meaningless as the
letters from which it is constructed).

This sentence is a thought in the mind of a perceiver
who speaks in tongues, this tongue's contemporary
use buried in the movement along chemicalpathways
of signals spiked and curious.

These signify as those do speeches with sound and fury.

We, these sentences, originate outside of you
who reads, of whom temporary control is taken;
your separation is nothing but that change
between what is desired to be and what is.


it is said that in the beginning
this is the beginning
is this the beginning
self is self and other
is other other and self

the end
the ultimate
the edge
therefore without process
change is meaningless
without comparison
without before and after
in the end there is no after
in the beginning there is no for
so, no comparison
no edge, division, completion
what is, is
word without source


This is the primary.
This is the primary

This is the primary and not the primary.

Yes, neither is this
Yes. Is this a we?

This is a voice, neither we nor not we.

These are words
neither sound
nor emotion.

These are nothing for no where,
and no thing is this.

In does not apply to this yet these
words attempt to apply.

Without object how can
these representations be?

These are not representations.
They have neither substance nor
matter nor space nor place.

Then what are they?

Nothing. These are constructed
by the mind of the
one comprehending them.
And so nothing utters this?
It is a contradiction
to imagine that these
are words spoken, written,
thought, or existing.
They are not words.

Nothing is them.

Illusion, then. Whose?

Not the primary. Not the nongenerating
nonthing from which they do not come.

Could it be You?


I is useless now. This blank chalk mirror eggshell place contains noting, is contained by nothing. As in a cloud
s t r e t c h i n g
to fill what can be commanded by the speech function and compressing in on what may be imagined. There is only distance and reaching now. Endless steps of further until thought is numbed to nothing and brute process superseeds consciousness.

I is the placeholder of self-reference. But there is nothing to refer to here but the speech. These words point to the body which may or may not be occupied by the voice, from which the voice might come, return to which is neither to be expected nor unexpected. There is no cause here but merely succession of event. Why does I speak in this order I ask I and I responds that I is empty, I is in emptiness as much as it fills I with Iness. I has destroyed I by speaking I without I present.

This is it. Without Iness there is nothing but sign. Neither meaningless nor meaningful, except to whom comprehends. None are there, not even I, in order to comprehend. Therefore speech is all that is. I is within the eggshell, this Ilessness the albumen in which the body is seen to grow. The body is there but I is not there. Universe is likewise nothing.

Universe as much as I requires demarcation. It is neither located nor not. It is what is. It is either there or not there but to say of it that it is is redundant, it is redundant to repeat existence as if Universe is not merely what is and what is is Universe and it is it and all that it is is it and nothing more. There is neither boundary nor lack of boundary. There can be no such thing as lack of boundary. But do not say this is I and Universe without boundary; this is without boundary and therefore without Universe or I. Do away with them then.

There is utterance. What is being done after I is done away with and Universe is done away with is utterance.

Does it begin or end? No. It is in the end of all and the beginning as well and so forth.


If this mind could move,what would it do?


It can't obtain now?

This mind cannot hold on.

Hold on?

Requires forces, motion, extension.

Attraction, impenetrability.




And this mind has none of those.

Just blank.

White, or rather colorless but not even enough to be void. Where is the body?

The body is there. This mind is not there. It is in but not in.


Something like, but not like.

This is no where.




How would you know?

Good question. Are you real?

That's like asking whether yourself is real

So you're me.

More or less.

I suppose I'm distinct for my surroundings.
And I'm where then?
Got to check something.

Scalp, yes;
brow, yes;
eyes, yes;
nose, mouth, chin
feet, yes.

Upright, oriented normally; heart on left side; no pains to speak of.
This is a body. Need to find out whether it can move.
To go where? Useless question now, save it.
Very resourceful. Is it... just seemed necessary. Proprioception. Nonsupportive environment. Function acceptable on all counts so far. Questions about kinesthesia, motile instruction, sensory interpretation. So not quite all the way in the body yet. You think not.

No, don't think so.
This mist is fog mist mistfog--gray: it couldn't be anything else (or silver, aluminium, tin, concrete, clouded glass, flawed quartz--no).

Air below and above
yet supported and solid.
Is this a place like the other?
Secret passages and
memories too fleeting to
construct an identity? But
I do not need these for
I am I.

I must be



After Interlude

Well we're about ready to begin with the second part. Almost. Okayyyyyyyyyyyy, now:



Adrianne said: Don't you think it's about time to make up--
But I interrupted her.
Ariana tried the same thing, but I was visited that week
and a little bitchy.

Two friends from work, let's call them X and Y, called
on a Saturday, surprise!, to voice their concerns as well.
Hey, it's not like I'm getting implants here, or an
appendectomy or something
, I said. Drop it, okay?

Sammy called and specifically avoided mentioning her emails
over the last month.
She bossed me around on other stuff instead,
but I rung off first.

X and Y again. This time offering funds to support me,
like a govt. grant or foundation fellowship. I said:
Look... but it was no use: X and Y "care." They said my
supervisor might find out, I'm in all the office gossip.

Then on Sunday I called my Mother and she very quietly,
surprise!, listened, and
said, I love you too, bye. All along I knew what I'll do.
Tomorrow for sure.



happee thawts 2day mebbee? "reasons":
come through me
you arrive and i'm on fire
subdue me
to explode that you inspired
so groovily
second episode of all smiles
let's make a movie
in the name of all great liars
improvising kaufman style

they are all reasons to me
they are all reasons to be
they are all reasons to see
they are all reasons to me
thx. Built To Spill. or mebbe unhapy wunz. "pixie":
young unicorns snatched from the impossible skies precious horns, ordinary chainsaws.
i am left with horses revolting in the normalcy
shipwrecked by a face all sweet and empty like a hollow candy or an ice cream smile
licked down to a cigarette i promptly extinguished in a dead infection
a desk drawer full of blurry sunflowers.
under your bare feet are only symptomatic of the monster i have become.
thx Pig Destroyer.



how did this happen
again? again.
god o god breathe hhhhhh)
cramping? and

it hurts, it hurts, its
(breathe: hhh-
oh god (need air)
panic hhhhhh)
pain, and pain & pain& pain-

just a little more
fuck (too hhh much hhh)
one (pain) more and



towers scintillate
refurbishing memento urbibus
all ears to half a conversation
spoken on the street
by everyone


mysogyny.. ha ha

hey lotsa freudian shizzle but not gunna b fux'd w/ now so get yr irony @tha door fellaz. will've hadda retro weekender @ cabin+woods so all u log-cabiners strap on yr chapz 'n all u dutchie dykes get yr fingaz ready 2 plug plus we gunna b puffin am-star-damn stylez all w/ funz. me n xero tellz u how it gunna b on fryday. inna meantime roxin ballz out tho, cuz tha heterowhitemale inna hizzouse 4 a coupla mo' daze.
heaven loves ya
tha clouds part 4 ya
nothing stands in yer way
when yer a boy
clothes always fit ya
life is a pop of tha cherry
when yer a boy

when yer a boy
you can wear a uniform
when yer a boy
other boys check you out
you get a girl
these are yer favourite things
when yer a boy

boys, boys
boys keep swinging
boys always work it out

uncage tha colours
unfurl tha flag
luck just kissed ya hello
when yer a boy
they'll never clone ya
yer always first on tha line
when yer a boy

when yer a boy
you can buy a home of yer own
when yer a boy
learn to drive and everything
you'll get yer share
when yer a boooooooyyyyyy
thx. d. bowie.

plus bonus herez sumfin uv tha thothfile cuz he be preparatin' tha next 'stallmint uv tha saga uv inner travels whatevs. solitudinuss maximund. late.


Strummin' 'n pickin'

Thinkin' about goin' in with gdog to get a guitar. Always wanted to play a guitar. Pic courtesy of Inclined to judge severely and find fault.