2006/01/17

You don't say

why, I'll be darned. And shit. So I'm sitting here in this dive called the Brass Rail and they're serving me 'cos I'm dressed like a hobo, and I'm thinking of some things that you should not say to women. Really. In no particular order.

1. "See ya." This sentence is like the death knell that indicates you are entering the so-called friend zone and only like some serious X-induced groping can bring it back.

2. "Consider yourself propositioned." Probably the least sexy way to say it.

3. "I want to be with you." What does this one even mean? It's like a fucking psychotic codependent thing to say. "With you." Yikes.

4. "You are pretty." Sounds like you're 14. Nuff said.

5. "Do you want ... ?" or "Would you like ... ?" Both of these presuppose that you are not man enough to know what a woman's preferences are before she does. Also, it implies that you are inferior to her. Never, ever imply anything like that unless you like wearing the skirt. However, "Will you ... ?" both appears to rest on equality by treating her as an agent while actually implying that her preferences are not rational enough to be mentioned, so it's a better choice when, for whatever reason, you think you have to ask a woman to choose.

6. "... cunt ..." Using this word is apparently a big turn off, except in certain contexts where fucking is already in the cards. I guess you're not supposed to demonstrate to women that you think their fun bits are unlikeable even though everybody knows they suck and are disgusting, and I think to some "politically correct" people the word has some negative connotations.

7. "I don't want to hear it." This is the thing you say when you want a woman to walk out on you.

8. "I've got a big ..." The blank is any word for your penis. for some reason it's considered rude to mention this about yourself.

7 Comments:

Blogger Sneaky Sis said...

What the fuck? You're such a pig I can't even begin to describe it.

18/1/06 14:41  
Blogger Thoth said...

What, you don't think this is ironic?

18/1/06 14:43  
Blogger panopticon said...

will he act well and speak
poorly? vice versa? or another
way to look at it, friend,
consider how we feel.

your solution
should be everyone's solution when
only the ones who are blameless
are in charge.

18/1/06 14:51  
Blogger Sneaky Sis said...

Even if it is, I doubt that would be detected by many readers. Anyway, benobo's already demonstrated that he's more mysoginist than not.

I have to agree with panopticon; and I think if you don't see it you may be blinded by your own sort of attitudes about us.

18/1/06 14:53  
Blogger Benobo Baboon said...

Thought I'd respond here, since your blistering email. ("...sexist attitude makes me want to puke... your obvious disregard for the personhood of the better half of the species makes me want to rescind ... your lease on [redacted]... particularly egregious is the implication that you have special expertise (however correct some of your suggestions, minus commentary, may have been) on the mating behavior of a different species ... fucking prick!!")

In my defense: I think the manner in which it's styled tells you how much regard I have for the male half of your species.

18/1/06 17:17  
Blogger Thoth said...

Thanks dude. That helped. Maybe you can also just be an arrogant jerk for a while?

18/1/06 17:27  
Blogger deimos said...

so i got a playstation 2 and you obviously have too much time on your hands. come play sometime.

18/1/06 22:01  

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