i was, i was

(who betrays whom?)

when i was nineteen, i died.
four times i died;
i lied, i came, i touched her–
i touched him there, i came
and lied in their house.

it's crass, where
did it come from
(my projectile heart)
they lied when i went

i'd always wanted three days
like perry ferell, i came
i cried, we died, i died.
when i was nineteen, we tried.

i spy a fly with my little eye
–under the cold cream–
with my little eye.

which is how she saw me
with him, but i lied, freely, and
about how he saw me

from the closet
with her.

i came, and i lied, and the roof caved in
and the gas line blew up
and the terrorists won
and my three days were up
and he had a gun, and i came

–catty with cream–

when he put it inside,
and i died.