Catchphrases to Watch Out For

So I'm at this party, right, and this woman (well, chick really, but let's not get into that, k?) in this extremely awful strawberry-blonde wig is talking about her lack of being able to get a boyfriend for more than about 3 months. So of course I figure she doesn't know that, you know, brain chemicals released during the initial "honeymoon" phase of a relationship tend to dip at about that time. I mean, figure why--three months of fucking is enough to (a) get preggers and/or (b) figure out if you can stand to be together more longer. I mean, if you are like a hunter-gatherer or whatever. So the rush of falling in love and all that may go bye-bye. So sad. On the other hand, the chemicals that cloud one's judgment may be clearing right about then, too, so perhaps at that point one can make a more sober assessment of the situation. My assessment of this person was, you know, frankly that she was crazy (she's like this actress or whatever) and she probably picked Bad Dudes--and not Luke Perry-type Bad, either. And so this vapid complainance was going on for a bit. And I had never met her before. But so some friends and I were at this party, which was a house party, and we were there on a thirdhand invitation via a boyfriend of a friend of one of the hosts who happened also to be an acquaintance. Also along for the crash were some unmentionable people about whom I shall defer complainance until a later date, if not postpone it indefinitely. Some matters are best left sweaty and calling for beer at the bottom of a stairwell. What I decided to do was, to say, "Have you considered the fact that you really shouldn't trust your own judgement," and some similar remarks in that line. I really just wanted to shut up this ultravapid line of talk, right? So but anyway she pulls this face like I thought you were hot until you didn't treat me like I'm special because I am so goddamn thin I could pick off pedestrians from inside the book depository flagpole. She says, I mean she's all like, "You don't know me!" and all of that. So she you know tried to walk away, and fortunately she didn't try one of those talk-to-the-hand moves because that was just too much and she knew it, but then so I bummed a cigarette off her and went to collect an ex of mine who was too plastered to stay off a roof. Yeah, I don't know her. Right.


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