well 'tisn't hexameter, exactly

meh.

Cyrano mask lies unused under laundry.
Band sells out, fan grows up.
Tree grows, neighborhood dies, geriatric remembers.
Girl sold to circus for elephant.
Embezzler loses shirt, dignity in divorce.
Film critic killed in premier melée.
Mistaken identity yields sex, romance, irony.
Twins disfigure one another, make up.
Student seduces professor, no one believes.
Accident! Astronaut's remains recovered from family.
Wife kills ants, other woman, tomatoes.
Confederate flag found in attic. Lawsuit.
Worker doesn't tell boss: fuck off.
Medals of honor lost at airport.
Conversation, date fail. Private investigator succeeds.
Child sees Daddy, mailman, psych ward.
Young woman secretly retains self esteem.
Poor couple eats trash, each other.
Chateau LaFitte '68 bottle broken, swung.
Divorcée sues for intellectual property: son.
Carpenter builds boat, following, allegory, debt.
Two strangers have vindictive sex twice.
Collapsed plantation manor hides young runaway.
Vacationer warned: some apparent statues aren't.
Never caught, pedophile laughs on deathbed.
Business venture succeeds despite incompetent entrepreneur.
Woman anthropomorphizes cats, fills another evening.
Shocker: magic realism interferes with relationship.
Union formation complicated by sexual politics.

etc.