Weather Report

Look up, looking up. Sunshine.


grave o' firey flyer

ghibli stodios made a lott good flix now 'n 'en butt u know they not always that most powerful &c emotional. saw grave of the fireflies tho' n its about as strong as u kn git even tho anime-ted. powerful antiwar statements 2, much mo' then say 'pocalypse now or whatevers. make u 'shamed 2 be in tha country what dropped a 'tomic bomb yo. exelen cinnama 4 sure but go into it w/firm conxtitushun + ready w/kleenex 4 tear jerks. a very downer. u kn git it w/kiki's delivery service tho' n tha's n upliftin story so kinda balances out. cn't give good review uv g.o.f. rite now tho gotta thinx on it.


swine and

christian zombie vampires
christian zombie vampires
christian zombie vampires
christian zombie vampires



six days

neither fluttering elbows
touched sypatico sleeves street
walk stride thronging conscienci-
ly. rattan coat dripping
drizzle, sneezes, dribbling
limp coif. grin under my
tea and stairwell.



tulips are not my favorite flower,
nor roses so feminine i'm told,
nor iris nor lilac nor poppy.
the sunflower holds no special fascination.
so much for lupin,
rhododendron skulking away,
polished chrysanthemum crystalline
but so... boring. like daisy.
violet? no.
bird of paradise, you are ill named;
what kind of moniker is daffodil, anyway?
that's what you guessed
but wrongly. lily, lily,



i confess.
i ate
the last of the blackberry jam.
just saying
i'm proud.



flush with bright pennies,
nickels, buffalo dimes,
pesos in green and red
dressed to the tuppence,
jangling pockets
at the laundromat


Another fucking reason

...why condoms and/or vasectomy ought to be pushed with religious zeal on our schoolboys. Details from Ampersand on "Alas" blog from whence the pic.
Edit: why is it ever primarily the woman's responsibility to prevent pregnancy? She knows she risks a pregnancy every time she has heterosexual vaginal intercourse. She accepts that, if she does not choose to "abort"--i.e. remove--the zygote/embryo/fetus, she will have responsibility for it. The biological daddy of the baby is just as responsible: it's his wriggling little tadpoles that did it, and a risk inherent in heterosexual vaginal intercourse. Just because it's not his choice what to do with a woman's body doesn't mean in any sense that he doesn't have responsibility for any child of that union. (That's fucktarded bullshit. I'm getting fed up with being polite about this issue.) What to compare that mindset to? A man shoots at a wild pig attacking his dog. He hits the dog. Then he refuses to pay the vet for putting it down. I like that, a nice story for all the red-state-of-mind mysoginists out there. Buy the ticket & take the ride, as the saying goes.

my hips

mo' places 2 go on th'intarnode: learn yer lessin'.


perfex starz

good drawins n paintins n pluswicked writing.
not perfect s.a.r.s.


Onward lexicon!

Officially, I've decided to add a wonderful word of Twisty Faster's: 'godbag'. I don't know whether she invented the word, but I learnt of it from her site so that's where primerary credit goes.

In other news, fizhburn tells me he was asked to state his position on abortion during a discussion section he teaches. He hedged it since, as a govt. employee, he can't espouse political views on the clock. The quote goes something like "Well I think this [pointing to
5. Aborting a fetus is always seriously morally wrong
written on the chalkboard as the conclusion of an argument to that effect] is false; but that's an opinion, I don't have any knock-down arguments for it." Cowardly much? Political discourse runs entirely on assumptions, which are a function of "framing the debate." Or maybe a function to it, I'm not entirely sure. With fixed assumptions, valid (good) arguments abound.


dear lord

hear one word
throat tight and strained
a cloud overhead amongst
the cerulian unseen.
last night you snowed
me in springtime state of mind
the bitter cold comfort food
for thoughts unbidden
i come back and again
pale purple toenails
in the icy melting tracks
from leaving home
tell me again, i come back
and again see the cloud
one sky imposed between
wishes. make thanks to
hear one word.



when you took my hand
laid it across my breast wrapped
around my locket on white muslin

my feet on the earth
head in the earth facing
the rising sun you never told me
three years your child
i could never touch your hand

blades of grass
pill-bugs, curling in my fist
you made for me this
i am vital force
i am your womb

six days in the ground you wept,
placed the stone in your mouth
is all you'll remember



bring it.
fuck you, fuck me, fuck us
fuck tom, fuck mary, fuck gus
fuck darius
fuck tha west coast, and fuck everybody on tha east
eat shit and die, or fuck off at least
fuck pre-schoolers, fuck rulers
kings and queens and gold jewelers
fuck wine coolers
fuck chickens, fuck ducks
everybody in yer crew sucks, punk mother fucks

fuck critics, fuck yer review
even if you like me, fuck you
don't bother tryin to analyze these rhymes
in this song i say fuck ninety three times

fuck tha berlin wall, both sides of it
and fuck lyle lovett, whoever tha fuck that is
fuck everybody in tha hemisphere
fuck them across tha world, and fuck them right here
you know tha guy that operates tha rouge river draw bridge
in delray on jefferson? fuck him!


A thought from praxis.

"A prime criterion for judging... practical stances is the following: can the conception of the world or the practical action in question be conceived of as "isolated", "independent", bearing entire responsibility for the collective life? Or is that impossible, and must it be conceived of as "integration" or perfecting of--or counterweight to--another conception of the world or practical attitude."
Gramsci, from The Modern Prince.


can't seem to come up with it

green and orange and green
unseen, unclean, mean
vacant one leave me, the
orange and green


Lockpick Pornography

is not real pr0n. Just check out this novel because it's the stuff. This makes all of us happy except fizhburn because he's being a little bitch.

outta contecks

for my homes:
...at his moment of, sort of desperation, he kind of has this impulse to call the woman, which is pretty much the impulse he should've been following all along. but she's too much like him: he sees himself reflected in her too much.
--ed norton
then against, u gotta kno tha male brain picks out tha wimins thats purty similair 2 their child-hood role modelos yo. s'like ur sista or momma 'n whatnot. iz they like u?


more nerdrificity (click me)


is what Sir mixalot says he gets when "a butt is stuffed." Have to agree. & course SPRING BREAK WOO HOOO HOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOO HOO HOOOOOOOOOOOO *gasp* HOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!1!!exclamationpoint1! is on its way so maybe some tail? 'Tis the season for migratory baboon-babes to roll through on there way to the Chi. don't know where this post is going but had to put something on. Sticking up for stereotyped gender roles, yo. Cuz we primates sometimes got 'em. Look @ the morphological (thx for spelling help fb) diffs between mels & fems in homo & you'll see a marker of typical species-specific division of behavior etc. That's not to defend so much as to point out the descriptive point. Makin' woms & weres socially the same, you know, may require fixes to the biology of the genders... and as the hormone changes associated with menstruation demonstrates this' be a hard problem. Now maybe if you-mans switched over to an estrous system? tho that has some, like, drawbacks too.




Weather Report

A ship is going down all hearts alive.


Short Term Memory Failure

You can understand
Bulldogs bulldogs fight fight
right? But probably you'd be confounded by
Bulldogs bulldogs bulldogs fight fight fight
due to a failure in the short-term memory in your language-processing system. Now that sentence is sensical: compare
1. Bulldogs bulldogs bulldogs fight fight fight
2. Bulldogs roosters bulldogs fight fight, fight
as two variations on the same grammatical form. One can train oneself to recognize the sense of (1), but it won't happen right off the bat. Your brain is just not set up for it--yet one could still construct a version of the sentence with little arrows in it to point out the relations between the parts, which would make it almost immediately intelligible. Or are the grammars of (1) and (2) different somehow?


what i remembered

thinking about an encounter some time ago. what is the moment, i asked, that is the essence of the thing? how to put into the perfect words the joy and warmth, the fleeting glimpse inside something, and the invisible deadline at which point it would end with naught but a whisper. i haven't got that, but

afternoon already the slatted windowshades
us, your length along me a feather's touch
in the knotted hot bedsheets i remember
eyes open, closed, latte skin
feel in my mouth--yours after a while
i lay my head on your dozing chest

speaking of which

"Dirty hand"!?! Punching the man who came up with that terminology is not enough.


Women's History Month

More history forthcoming. In the meantime, check out Twisty's blog against patriarchy, as well as some direct action to do something about ND's antiwomen laws. A link for the marxists in the crowd. Research is good for your soul. I'm not talking about amazons today.

Different Strokes

Due to monotony, as benobo put it, thoth has been asked to STFU.


for rachel, who'll never know

'n 'bout thanxgiving: sorry tho i kno its not my fault, n i hope u r better.
still a little bit of your taste in my mouth
still a little bit of you laced with my doubt
still a little hard to say what's going on

still a little bit of your ghost, your witness
still a little bit of your face i haven't kissed
you step a little closer each day
still i can't say what's going on

stones taught me to fly
love taught me to lie
life taught me to die
so it's not hard to fall
when you float like a cannonball

still a little bit of your song in my ear
still a little bit of your words i long to hear
you step a little closer to me
so close that i can't see what's going on

stones taught me to fly
love taught me to cry
so come on courage
teach me to be shy
'cuz it's not hard to fall
and i don't want to scare her
it's not hard to fall
and i don't wanna lose
it's not hard to grow
when you know that you just don't know
thx d. rice.



From the out-of-context quotes division:
"To me it's both, like, kind of intensely intellectual and, like, erotic. Two great things combined."
--Richard Linkletter

Okay he was actually talking about lucid dreams. Sue me.


movie quotes

I would say that life understood is life lived. But, the paradoxes bug me. And I can learn to love, and make love to the paradoxes that bug me. And on really romantic evenings of self I go salsa dancing with my confusion.

...as you realize that you are a dream figure in another person's dream, that is self-awareness!

--Speed Levitch

tha prince

u know th' name:
i never meant 2 cause u any sorrow
i never meant 2 cause u any pain
i only wanted 2 one time see u laughing
i only wanted 2 see u laughing in tha purple rain
purple rain, purple rain
purple rain, purple rain
purple rain, purple rain
i only wanted 2 see u bathing in tha purple rain
i never wanted 2 be yer weekend lover
i only wanted 2 be some kind of friend
baby i could never steal u from another
it's such a shame our friendship had 2 end
purple rain, purple rain
i only wanted 2 see u underneath tha purple rain
honey i know, i know, i know times are changing
it's time we all reach out 4 something new
that means u 2
u say u want a leader
but u can't seem 2 make up your mind
i think u better close it
and let me guide u 2 tha purple rain
if you know what i'm singing about up here
c'mon raise your hand
i only want 2 see u
in tha purple rain
hoooo hoo hoo hoo
thx p. r. nelson.


Women's History Month

Women warriors whom we might call Amazons did exist, but were they the legendary equestrian band of man-hating archers with partial mastectomies? Were they the same as the Amazons Herodotus describes? Kathy Sawyer, in Were Amazons More than Myths?, an article from the July 31, 1997 Salt Lake Tribune, suggests "the notion of such women ... [who] replenished their numbers by mating with men from other tribes, keeping the daughters and killing male infants ... sprang from ... an imaginative impulse in the male-dominated Greek society ...." But Germanic tribes had women warriors and Mongol families accompanied the armies of Genghis Khan, so the presence of women warriors was well attested even before Dr. Jeannine Davis-Kimball "spent five years excavating more than 150 burial mounds of 5th century B.C. nomads near Pokrovka, Russia."
The first direct evidence for warrior women of high status on the steppes of southern Russia comes from excavations of burials from the Sauromatian culture dating from the 6th to the 4th century B.C. Judging from their grave goods, Sauromatians were nomadic, experts in animal husbandry, and skilled in warfare.

Starting around the 4th century B.C., Sauromatian culture evolves into the Sarmatian culture, also a nomadic people that make their livelihood raising animals and versed in the art of war. The culture, which had been expanding its territory, soon shifts its focus. "They become raiders and traders, with forays to the west to interface with the Romans, and they relocate to cities and to areas along large trade routes," Davis-Kimball says. "Their wealth increases. We see that in their burial items. We see strong, powerful women, but their role changes. We find burials of women that still retain cultic artifacts, indicating that they were a priestess of some sort, but there is much more gold and more secular ornamentation -- more golden cups, more golden jewelry, elaborate things -- and less weaponry. This type of evolution is a normal manifestation of culture."

From the 2nd century B.C. to the 2nd to 3rd century A.D., the Sarmatians migrate to the west and north of the Black Sea, and eventually invade Dacia (now Romania). In the 3rd century A.D. the Sarmatians are invaded by the Goths, and in 370 A.D. they are overtaken by Huns and either killed or assimilated.
Amazons wiki.
Only the title is right.
A really strong woman accepts the war she went through and is ennobled by her scars. --Carly Simon


ha ha

Caught myself backsliding. Forgive and forget. Can't it... Just... Why not...

(Interlude: I am not a grudge-holding type. This is a problem, because when I do hold a grudge it is usually for the wrong reasons. Stupid piddly shit that means nada in the long run, right. Not the big shit. [Editorial NB: this bit is factual. --f.])

I am so so so so.... And then the questions and the self-recrimination.

And then the doubt and the feeling like, I have to keep my shit under control and not... whatever. This is being in touch with feelings. Why the fuck did I ever start doing that?

Actually I know why, I remember when, and I could tell that story. Someday maybe.

Where is my denial? Where is my painkiller fucking denial? Where is my fucking fiction and my sex and my nature and my fucking denial? I know cutters. They want me. They want me to join them. I don't want these feelings I say. This is too much. I am so...

Everything is so... because everyone is so... and the one I wanted was so... and now we're so... and now I'm so...

And it's all over and I'm eating five cheeseburgers with a Jack chaser and scratching my balls while watching Conan and my God where did my life go? I was in school and I had a dream and I wanted to be somebody and I wanted success and I wanted and wanted and love found me and I pissed it all away for you fucking balls alcohol cheeseburger television sheep sheep sheep... Absurd fucking life is.

(P.s. how else can you laugh but bitterly? That's how I laugh at myself. Rock over Detroit, rock on Chicago.)


somehow familiar

Self-esteem had one weakness...


Story (imagine you observe the following): humans A and B become lovers for a while, and have a generally positive attitude toward one another. A goes on vacation for a while; a week before this some events leave the pair in an ambiguous and perhaps unsatisfying relation.

(See how this problem happens when you don't just have good times and make babies? Idiot "sapiens.")

Later A returns and, for reasons (let's suppose), decides not to see B anymore. Unaware of this B attempts to contact A. A rebuffs attempts at interaction even aimed at merely friendly activity. B is angry at being so rudely treated.

(What, I ask you people, what is it that you think is damn abnormal about it? None of you really say what you think. David Mack had it right about the Japanese when he said their society runs on customary "white lies." It applies generally to all of you though--look at yourself carefully. What do you really want--no one will know if you don't say it.)

Later, B discovers that A has been talking trash about B to B's friends behind B's back. Part of the motivation turns out to be to sleep with another friend of B's, C. C escapes A's desperate advances. When A turns their attention to others of A's and B's friends and aquaintances, A is similarly rejected.

(How torridly complicated you must make things out to be--look, the pseudo-ex is wannabefucking the friends and they don't buy into it/their schtick.)

A, let's say, has some problems with being rejected (sexually, etc.), which, maybe in combination with other factors, cause A to break down crying. B, who sees this on B's way to run an errand, feels a sort of karmic justice has been meeted out.

Question, anthropologists: is this human emotion justified? Is it wrong for B to bitterly laugh? How about if B feels kind of bad about having such a reaction?

Question: who the fuck cares? There is no right and wrong. Everybody knows that.



there mister, don't want to save
your vomit-covered lips
abalone smile, tulips flowering under leaf
cover rocks, gravel, boulders and giant stone
head bob, bob, bob under sickness
H5N1 finally arrived today
(drinking to fuck the pain away)
i'm peaches for three, stolen
abalone smile, it was jenna bush's
butt dance that sent tham packing
ostricize you for three days or
seven weeks (luck 'o the irish it was)
my shoes need shining, reflecting up kilts
aye, aye, this is the tulip field
stones and leaves scutter away
abalone peach vomit flowers mistake.



was going to post something ranting about hurting people's feelings, but instead am going to let the other side speak for itself. fizhburn finds this amusing.
Racism. It's kind of funny in secret until the person whose race you're joking about just happens to overhear you. That's usually when violence breaks out, and that is what we as a society are trying to avoid. It doesn't matter how funny the racism is, it's not worth anybody getting hurt.

I guess the lesson here is that it's wrong to have racism but if you're going to tell a racist joke because it is insanely hysterical, make sure nobody overhears you and that you and the person or persons to whom you are telling the joke understand that the joke is only funny because it is ironically ludicrous that someone would actually feel that way about another group of people.
From J-Ro, who's half Cherokee.


comp'd by re?uest

4 my bro thoth in th' hr. uv his content.
Gdog, could you please sift through my playback stats and find songs that fall under the following criteria: (1) things I hum while cooking (2) things I sing while writing (3) things that cause me to shiver while napping. And don't give me that look.
tho i did giv'm da l@@k uvva lifetiem. mildly kronological with omissions:
Garbage - The trick is to keep breathing
Fighters von Foo - February stars
Hendrix - Hey joe
Portishead - It's a fire
Tool - Eulogy
Tori - God
Soundgarden - Bootcamp
Alisonchains - Nutshell
Low - Over the ocean
Radiohead - Black star
Marley - Redemption Song
Meshuggah - Straws pulled at random
Floyd - Time
Built to Spill - You were right
TTWS - Torn
Explosions - The only moment we were alone
Cohen - Hey, that's no way to say goodbye
Damien Rice - Cannonball
Gillian - Revelator
System - Streamline
Calexiwine - Dead man's will
Power - Metal heart
plus others b'thoth gotta coffup if'ee want mo' favor.